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Two things we need to stop doing


There are two things that I have heard in recent conversations that we really need to stop doing.


1) I was chatting with a friend and we were discussing an older family member of hers who is not supportive and isn't kind to the family. What was said: well that's his/her generation. NOPE. It's not anyones generation (or culture or whatever) to behave in a way that is hurtful to others. I guarantee we can find many people of the same culture/generation as this person and they would be amazing, supportive, wonderful people. We can not excuse peoples bad behavior for anything than what it is - hurtful. I'm not saying cut them out or confront them (that is a case by case basis) but I am saying we need to stop giving people an excuse for treating us poorly.


2) I was talking to a woman who told me how her husband would say mean things and was fairly cruel to her. They divorced and he remarried. She told me his new wife was better for him and could "handle him". NOPE. We need to stop this way of thinking because it puts the blame on the first wife/person who was the target. We hear don't blame the victim a lot but sometimes this way of thinking seeps into families and becomes part of a family belief system* and it needs to stop. Again, I'm not saying confront the person in a couple who is treating the other person poorly but I am saying let's stop making excuses and start seeing things as they are.


*more than one person in this family had the same thing to say about the couple.


What do you think? Have you heard either of these thoughts/excuses before?

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