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How decluttering helps people pleasers

Let's be completely honest here - people pleasers have a hard time saying no. As a recovering people pleaser, I know that when we are given something, it's hard to create boundaries (even if it's an item we don't want or need).

Things you might think if you are asked to take something/given something and say "no":

  • I am ungrateful

  • I am a bad (daughter, son, spouse, cousin, friend...)

  • I don't love them

  • They will feel bad about themselves/the item

  • They will be mad at me

  • They will not give me anything in the future

So the item is taken.

Then when stuff starts to pile up and it's time to declutter, these same feelings and thoughts come up but this time it's about letting the stuff go.

It sounds like it's never ending but it doesn't have to be. If you are a people pleaser and tired of people dumping stuff on you, decluttering can be a great way to learn how to empower yourself. You can do this by working through the feelings associated with letting go of items that you don't want (and maybe never wanted). The more comfortable you are with those feelings, the easier it will be to say no when someone asks you if you want a hand me down that you don't want. It is a process that takes time but imagine having a home that has exactly what you want in it, without any guilt. Not only will your home feel lighter but you can feel empowered knowing you are able to say no.

Did this resonate with you? Want more help? Click here to download a free declutter your mind worksheet (it's for the person who has a running list of what needs to get done and it's stressing them out so much they don't get anything done)

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