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Almost a decade of learning to let go

It was my birthday last week. I turned 49 and it got me thinking of my life so far. In my 20s I was trying to figure everything out (still am). In my 30s I got married and became a mom. In my 40s everything in my life changed very soon after my 40th birthday when the person I was married to decided the marriage was over. So my 40s became the decade of learning to let go.

That definitely was not something I planned - honestly I don't think learning to let go is something you plan out. It's more like something you do because you have to or because you need to. It seems so difficult, to let go. Maybe there is some wiring in our heads that makes us think holding onto things is safe. Something from back when humans were living in caves that told us to hold on because that is the way to survive. Maybe it's something we learned more recently from the traumas of past generations... or even the trauma of our own life.

I had been thinking about writing this over the weekend and my plan was to talk about the benefits of letting go (stuff, ideas, thoughts). I was going to do my usual schedule - blog and live on Monday. Tuesday would be the newsletter and a static post on instagram. All about this topic.

And then Monday happened. And I was scrolling Instagram right before I was going to work on the blog and I saw a video/post that got me triggered with some serious C-PTSD stuff. I wasn't able to concentrate at all. I wanted space. I needed to let myself feel the feels and then calm my nervous system down.

So I let go. I let go of the schedule and decided I was going to take care of me. As much as I love this business and as much as I love helping others, I also need to make sure I am taking care of myself.

Years ago I would have still pushed myself to do it even though I was emotionally wiped out. I would have still wanted to get it all done out of guilt and a feeling of obligation.

Once I gave myself the space you know what? Nothing broke down. Everything just kept on running. Did someone notice my Monday blog and live didn't happen? Maybe. Is it the worst thing in the world? Nope.

And that's the thing about letting go. Once you get comfortable with it, it becomes easier to let go without guilt or making excuses. You can let go because it's the best thing for you and what you need at the time and that's okay.

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